But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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