Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
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She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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