Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So many bounce houses so little time
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize