i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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