I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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