You're so nebulous sometimes
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
