**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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