i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Houston, we have a blender
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
