adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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