He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
