If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
