why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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