Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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