You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
