ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
