he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
