Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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