So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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