i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
