It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
