Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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