Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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