her vagine was all disorganized.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
