You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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