I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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