capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
that is very illegal...i love you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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