so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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