Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
