just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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