If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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