found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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