He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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