I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
