Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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