the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
