She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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