I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
