your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
