He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We had to coat check the pizza.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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