I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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