Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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