She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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