Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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