There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
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