my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize