I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We're facebook friends in real life
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
