In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
