but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
