summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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