i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
