kristin has been a bad kristin
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my phone needs a breathalizer
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
