I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
