Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
