god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
