It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
