Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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