So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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