she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
