Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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