I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
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Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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