They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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