toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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